Let’s get one thing straight: I make this shortbread because I like it. Nobody asks for it—oh no, they’d never think to request something so simple and classic. But the second it’s on the table? Everyone’s suddenly a shortbread enthusiast, sneaking piece after piece like they’ve been deprived their whole lives.
So yeah, this buttery, crumbly perfection is for me. I just get pissed off when I realize I have to share it because you vultures discovered it’s actually good.
Ingredients (Not That You Deserve Them)
- 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened—because shortbread isn’t about cutting calories, it’s about happiness.
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar, plus a little extra to sprinkle over the top so it looks like I put in extra effort.
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1/4 cup cornstarch, for that perfect tender texture that makes this my recipe, not yours.
- Pinch of salt—because let’s face it, this recipe needs less salt than I do right now.
Instructions
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Preheat the oven to 325°F (165°C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper because I’m not scrubbing sticky crumbs off later.
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Cream the butter and sugar: In a bowl, beat butter and sugar together until it’s smooth and fluffy—kind of like the lies I tell myself about not eating half of this dough raw.
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Add the dry ingredients: Slowly mix in the flour, cornstarch, and salt. The dough will look crumbly at first, but keep going. It’ll come together, just like me after caffeine and three motivational talks.
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Shape the dough:
- Roll it out to about 1/4 inch thick and use cookie cutters if you’re feeling festive (or petty).
- Or press it into an 8×8 pan and call it “rustic” because you’re too tired to be Martha Stewart.
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Chill (or don’t): Toss the dough in the fridge for 15 minutes if you’re after cookie perfection. Or skip it and enjoy the “organic” shapes that happen when they spread.
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Bake: Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the edges are golden. Keep an eye on it unless you want to call it “toasted shortbread.”
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Sprinkle with sugar: Pull it out of the oven and immediately dust the top with sugar. It’s optional, but why skip a chance to be extra?
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Cool: Let them cool for five minutes. Or don’t. Eat them warm straight from the pan while glaring at anyone who tries to take one.
Why I Do This
This isn’t some family tradition or a “special request.” I make shortbread because it’s simple, delicious, and it makes me happy. And yet, here we are: everyone claiming they never knew they liked shortbread while polishing off the last crumb.
So, make it if you want—but don’t say I didn’t warn you. You’ll go from “just baking for yourself” to guarding your stash like it’s the last cookie on earth.